Nursery Crimes are an alternative take on some classic children's rhymes.
HUMPTY-DUMPTY
Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall.
Well that's what we're told,
What if Humpty was nudged?
A hit carried out,
By some toast with a grudge
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
“Jack fell down, now he’s broke his crown”
Jill told the council worker...
Far from true, and just a ruse,
Jack’s chilling watching Netflix.
Claiming his pay, not working a day,
He’s a benefit scamming ...
THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN
WHO LIVED IN A SHOE
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children, she knew just what to do.
She made them stitch laces, knock-off some brands;
Her box fresh kicks made by slave labour hands.